I had been bumbling along on the dating apps but felt it was time to take a different approach. Fairy tales have infiltrated our minds, making us believe that Prince Charming will magically appear at the right moment. However, the modern world doesn’t quite work that way. I dove in to a singles mixer, hoping a pool of men would increase my chances of finding a frog prince.
I walked into the bar and scoped out the scene. The air was clouded with the thick, humid tension of seeping pheromones. My nerves were slowly calmed by the sweet nectar of liquid courage. Most of the toads sat quietly on their lily pads, waiting for their prey. The dragonflies bounced around the room, teasing the toads with their colorful wings. The first few toads I spoke with croaked a similar tune; their banter was dry and self-absorbed. I did encounter a few frogs and we had stimulating conversations, but there was no animalistic attraction.
As the event was coming to an end, I had almost given up hope, but then I spotted a sharp-dressed man sitting by the bar. A gentle stream of conversation flowed between us and carried on when the event ended. This potential frog, Henry, happened to be there with one of his female friends, a beautiful ladybug, Victoria. She had snagged herself a possible frog prince, Charles. The four of us jovially chattered over drinks. We were having such a great time that we decided to hop on over to another bar.
When, we stepped outside, it was nippy out so Henry offered me his coat, such a gentleman. At the new bar, he bought me a drink and we continued to talk. Victoria was a little bubbly from too much nectar and Charles’ intoxicating kisses. Henry was a true friend and kept an eye out for her to make sure she was ok. I began to shiver from the brisk night air, and Henry embraced me, warming me up with his sweet kisses.
Last call! None of us wanted the night to end, so Charles invited us back to his pad. The festivities carried on with singing, dancing, and ping pong. Henry and I enjoyed a delightful evening together. Victoria pulled me aside and tried to sell Henry to me, claiming what a wonderful man he was. She adored me and thought I would be good for him.
After that initial date, communication with Henry was sporadic. The next weekend, I went to dinner and karaoke with Henry, Victoria, and their friend Maria. At the end of the night, Henry walked away to his car, and Victoria had to remind him to tell me goodnight. He smooched me goodnight and floated on his way.
After that night, Henry and I tried to connect a few more times when we were hanging out with the group. With the influence of sweet nectar, our brains grew fuzzy causing a chemical reaction between us. But, with our heads clear, it seemed we were best in the friend zone. I realized that Henry is too chill a frog for my taste. I need someone with a little more peppity pep pep. He has the potential to be someone else’s frog prince, but my kisses won’t turn him into a prince.
Despite the fact that Henry and I fell flat, Victoria and I kept in contact and became fast friends. I call her my ladybug because I was lucky our paths crossed in an unlikely place. She is a true friend: listening when I need to whistle in her ear about the toads and frogs in my life, frolicking around town with me when we feel playful, and laughing together when we need to be uplifted. We support each other as we swim through both the turbulent and calm waters of life.
Toads may come and go, but girlfriends are forever.